I am terrified

I think too much. All these little half-formed thoughts are running around in my head, refusing to slow down or transform into something understandable. And I know the cause.

My first year at university commences tomorrow.

I had been at my school forever. I never had to worry about making friends or being the new kid, because I had always been there. I knew everyone. And now I’ve graduated school and am beginning university and am terrified.

I should be spending today getting ready for tomorrow, not writing a blog post and planning to play the Sims after I’ve hit “publish”.

Apparently I have slight “control issues” around the unknown. I waste time fretting about what could happen,  even though many scenarios don’t ever occur. I wish I could make my mind realise that life shouldn’t be about “when”s and “if”s. It’s about now. Now is what we’ve got, what we always have. It should be embraced. Not pushed to the back of my head while I procrastinate with pointless computer games.

5 thoughts on “I am terrified

  1. College is where you have a greater chance of meeting people like yourself. You shouldn’t be afraid! You should be thrilled.

    Gotta say, I’ve never understood any part of the Sims, other than the house building part. The rest is… I mean…. you’re playing a game where you get a job and do the dishes?


    1. i like the sims because basically it’s a virtual dollhouse, and there’s something wonderful about either creating the perfect life (though your real one suffers) or ruining them. playing god feels pretty good. probably not the healthiest mindspace or past-time to indulge in.


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