More enlightening adventures in etiquette

(the previous enlightening etiquette post)

  • If you’ve done something wrong, apologise. Straight away. No pissing around, say sorry even if you don’t think it was your fault. Refusing to will only stop you moving on with your life and keep you stuck to whatever (probably miniscule) issue was at hand. (Obviously this is in relation to petty things that don’t matter that much. If you burned down their house, yeah, it might take more than an apology to set things right.)
  • Not answering texts promptly when organising plans is annoying. Keep your phone on you if something is that important. Or be old school and use a landline! How delightfully archaic!
  • Thank the bus driver. They’ll really appreciate it, because most people who use buses are thoughtless. Smiling, nodding and saying “cheers” will lift their spirits without making you put in too much effort.
  • Say “congratulations!” when someone has a baby. I was recently caught out with this and when I was shown a picture of new baby, all I said was “oh, it’s small”. Say congrats even if you hate babies or think theirs is ugly. This isn’t a case of honesty being the best policy. I assure you that they don’t care what you actually think. They just want people to tell them their baby is good.
  • If you’re in a group and someone new arrives, introduce them. Otherwise they’ll just stand there like a socially awkward penguin and that is so not fun.
  • Interrupting people is, 99% of the time, WRONG. Personally, this one irritates me far too much because I have a relatively quiet voice so it happens a lot. Let people finish their sentence before you leap in with your own observation. Even if they’re really boring and your input is undeniably better – don’t interrupt. It’s rude.
  • Offer people petrol money if they’re driving you somewhere more than half an hour away. Car costs are expensive. Don’t be a douchebag.


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