“What do you want to study?” “Where do you want to work?” “What do you want for dinner?”
My response to all of these questions is crippling fear and silence. Indecision rules my life. I have changed my degree twice, my major four times, and still I’m not sure I’m doing what I want. More than once I have just not had dinner because I couldn’t decide what to have. My ineffective response of “I don’t mind!” has irritated many a friend of mine. I cannot for the life of me make decisions. It doesn’t matter how big or how small – the thought of making a decision debilitates me.
Right now, I am struggling to decide between whether to finally move out of home and enter the world of flatting, or to spend all my savings on an overseas exchange. I feel so stupid for struggling with a decision like this. Either option would be wonderful. Both would give me great experiences and both would leave me incredibly poor. But I cannot decide because whichever I choose means that I miss out on the other. And unfortunately, FOMO rules my life much more than I would like it to.
I wish I had a better way to aid decision making than writing a pros & cons list. Inevitably, this list will have an equal number of pros & cons and stress me out further. Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier if I just decided to flip a coin for every choice.
Knowing me, I wouldn’t be able to decide which option goes with heads and which goes with tails.
PS: I recently added a “Bucket list” tab to this blog; if you check it out I promise your day will maybe be mildly more interesting.